confused bolt

[Bolt]

so now that the emotions are subsiding and the intelligence is coming back, I'm trying to figure my next move.

When we last left off, I was going to file in CA ONLY to file before she could in Ohio.

She got an emergency custody of the children, my lawyer thinks underhandedly, and has told me to file in CA. The court has ordered a guardian ad litem so things are moving now.

After talking to W last night in a moment of lucidity, it is clear she only did this to prevent me from taking them out of OH.

I don't want this D. I know that now after really thinking it through. My friends and family think I'm nuts but after a ton of reading, I am positive it's MLC and I want to make it a mission to stick it out.

This is no longer about winning but winning my M back. I can't imagine right now, being with someone else. I do want a better M and want to work on myself to help make that happen. That does mean ONLY working on myself and my girls.

But now that this ball has been set in motion, I'm not sure if NOT getting a D is an option.

I'm not looking for lawyerly advice but I do have to make some big decision before my atty talks to an atty in CA - a meeting that is setup for first thing monday.

any advice?