I had a dream last night that he served me with D papers. This did not help my anxiety.
I eventually became so anxious last night I threw up. I haven't done that in a a very long time. H's best friend met me for dinner to get me out of the house. While it calmed me down, it still left me frustrated. I just want to be done with this. BF wants this to be done for us. He thought H and I had the ideal marriage. So did I.
I feel like I've done a pretty good job for the last month, but between the pregnancy, being sick, and trying to wrap up the school year, I'm just exhausted. Physically and emotionally. And I feel like his behaviors have shown signs of improvement. It's just me that's losing it at this point.
I put the crib together last night. By myself. Again, it's not a question of whether or not I'll be fine on my own. I know I will. I just don't want to be on my own.
