Divorce As Catalyst For Excellence.

[Busting Mode]

Yeah. I knew the reality check was coming. Just didn't want to admit it to myself.

A moment ago I went into a long detailed explanation of how and why and what I was denying.

Big description of everything going on. I was really proud of my explanation. Like I nailed it and could finally move on.

And as I was about to post it, my computer shut down and erased everything I had written. All those perfect words were lost.

I had written about the power we have to create our fate. And once again fate stepped in a reminded me it ain't just up to me. I can no longer deny the influence and impact of other people in my life, nor the environments and circumstances I am in.

I can acknowledge them. I can accept them. I can even choose them. And in the acknowledging, the accepting, and the choosing, I come back to a place of power.

Again and again I am remembering my power. I am remembering that my actions are correlated to the way the circumstances are occurring to me. The circumstances are only occurring to me in language. And I have power over language.

What happened was L---- and I met. L---- and I got married. L---- and I got divorced.

Now we are divorced.

None of that has any meaning to me other than the meaning I choose to give it.

Whatever I do from this point forward has no meaning to me other than the meaning I choose to give it.

Whatever she does from this point forward has no meaning to me other than the meaning I choose to give it.

Knowing that, why would I choose meanings that keep me feeling bad? I would do that only if I believed I did not deserve to keep on feeling good.

Loving and caring for myself completely, I would not choose unhealthy thoughts, feelings or actions. I would only choose healthy thoughts and feelings. I would only choose the kinds of thoughts and feelings that lead to healthy actions and results.

My actions are correlated to the way the circumstances are occurring to me. Up until yesterday, the circumstances had been occurring to me as "something I cannot not fully accept."

But now I've realized for all the power that I have to work with words, it is crazy to deny or ignore the influence and impact of other people in my life. It is crazy to deny or ignore the environments and circumstances I am in.

My circumstances had been occurring to me as a loss. As a failure. As a death. As something beyond my control. As something I did wrong, as something wrong with me, as something wrong with her, as something not good enough about me, as validation of my shortcomings, as a source of fear and anger and resentment and frustration, as the shattering of my dreams, as more proof that women can't be trusted, as more proof that I'm not good enough, and as more proof that I am always right.

My circumstances were occurring to me as something I can't let go of. As something I can't get past. As something I must understand. As something I must figure out. As something I must fix. As something that isn't right.

But none of that is workable.

What I have now learned is that integrity gives access to workability.

So what would happen if the circumstances really were occurring to me as a catalyst for an extraordinary quality of life?

What if they were occurring to me as an opportunity to restore my integrity completely?

What would my actions look like then?

I am declaring I am declaring.
I am my word.
With my words I create my world.

My circumstances are now occurring to me as a catalyst for an extraordinary quality of life.

My circumstances are now occurring to me as an opportunity to restore my integrity completely.

I am now declaring the future's so bright I gotta wear shades.