I totally feel for you. As someone who suffers from depression myself I know how hard it can be. Good for you for getting back into counseling for yourself. Stick with it.
As for your M-just take things one day at a time. Focus on your 180's and gGAL for yourself. I do see positives in your sitch, and I'd like to believe that there is always hope.
Keep posting. We have some wonderful supportive people here and you've come to the right place.
"Everyone you meet has baggage. Find someone who loves you enough to help you unpack." ¤Formerly DelinquentGurl¤