Trying to get serious about DB again

[hope2011]

I want the H I thought I was marrying. Now I'm trying to accept who he is and let go of the man I thought he was. So I guess I just want to be happy and feel loved and safe.

H isn't ready for R talks. I've tried a few times and he's not interested. Maybe he thinks it will be all complaining about him. With jobs and money stress, he can't handle criticism.

So today a problem came up and I'm struggling. Actually 2 problems.

1. H's BF and his W are being thrown a baby shower and we ate invited. H's XW2 will be there. I'm worried H will leave me alone there while he hangs out with the guys.

2. Spring break is next week. When H made good money he and the boys would go on extravagent trips. Now we barely pay bills. We promised to go help his elderly parents paint and the boys to move furniture. They moved a few months ago into an unfinished house. He just had hernia surgery and she fell and broke her hip. Now H has decided we should go on vacation, spend Easter at a theme park instead of church or family (mine), give his parents just 1 day of help (paint won't dry to move furniture) and spend 3 days at a theme park, hotel with 2 spoiled whiney teenagers who haven't earned it, won't appreciate iit and will complain the whole time. Which will put us in bad moods. Dpending money we don't have and risking our mortgage payment. I'm trying to be an adult and he's ditching responsibility. I told him nicely that I think we need to skip a vacation and keep our word. He's been sulking all day now.