Still on the border of Neverland

[Twink]

Thanks, everyone, for reminding me that I am never alone with my MLC experiences LOL!

Mostly journaling, but happy for feedback/support as well.

H asked me to lunch shortly after my last post here, and since I hadn't fully processed the news of his new-found interests, I declined, nicely. He went out of town for the next week for work, then to see OW (I think).

Early last week, when he returned to town, he made some medical charges on our joint card, indicating that he had suffered an injury. Normally I would have emailed him to say I hoped it wasn't anything serious, but for some reason I decided to wait.

Then at the end of the week, he asked me to lunch again. I was sick, so declined again. He said he would "try again another time." The next day I received the medical receipts from him in the mail to file for insurance. It was an injury he could have received while engaging in his new favorite activity, and I decided I really didn't want to know about it. Not good for me. So I filed the insurance claims and did not respond to the receipts at all.

On Monday, I was feeling much better. I texted him to ask how he felt about sending a particular fairly expensive wedding gift to D and future SIL, saying that I thought it would be nice if they had something lasting from both of us. (I see now that the wording could have been taken as something other than what it was. I was only thinking that, with all of the upheaval in our family, a wedding gift from mom and dad would be supportive and nice.) H texted right back that he agreed, and did I feel like having lunch yet? Fourth invite in 6 weeks. I admit I wondered what could possibly be going on, but quickly shut that down. I did, however, prepare myself with something to say if he wanted to discuss his injury. I planned to set a boundary about any discussion of his extramarital activities.

So we went to lunch yesterday. Perfectly pleasant, as usual, but H seemed very subdued. We talked about a variety of things -- movies, work, books, Ds, pets.... I needed to excuse myself twice (very spicy food that was good, but did not set well), and both times I returned, I caught H looking very sad before he saw me returning. I was open about my plans with D after her professional graduation next month, and he clearly wanted to be more in the loop than he was. He said nothing about his injury, and I didn't ask. We spent almost two hours together, until I said I had to get to work, which I did (already over 30 minutes late). He kissed me goodbye in a way he hasn't in a long time.

Somebody kick me. I feel sorry for him.

Otherwise, I'm in a pretty good place right now. H has been responsible financially, I have a great R with my Ds, terrific friends, supportive sibs, a 1/4-time job, a wedding to help plan, and lots of interests. Although my M is one of the longest here to fail this way, with a lot more history to put on the shelf than most, things are much more tolerable for me than for many here. It is one of my blessings that I remember every day.