DG, You are trying too hard to save the M. This will do more damage then good. Take a break from it. You need to be doing more postive things in your life right now. Start with yourself, I will tell you this, my W have very low self esteem. It is an attractive killer. Be confident and happy. Be attractive.
Only you can make the change happen.
Bomb 8/09. Brief piecing 12/10. D-2/12 Two incredible kids D9,S6 Leading new life! “Success is not to be pursued; it is to be attracted by the person we become."
You can't feel worthy. You have to BE worthy. That's what GAL is all about. It will help your low self esteem more than you can imagine. Go enjoy your life. It's ok. You're worth it.
"Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending." - Maria Robinson
M: 45 WAW: 36 T: 17 M: 14 Kids: D9 ILYBNILWY: 6/2010 W left: 2/2011 W back: 2/2012
I don't think anyone understands how hard it is for me to think positive. I have such low self esteem, I don't know how to feel worthy.
Why ?
Why don't you feel worthy ?
I've always had low self esteem. For as long as I can remember I have been. Stems from childhood and reaffirmed by toxic relationships.
I am over thinking. I am over analyzing. I am self sabotaging. I'm depressed. I'm scared. I'm hurting. I miss my husband. I worry he doesn't miss me. I want him to come home. I want to turn back time to before this all happened and do things differently.
This is killing me. Absolutely killing me. I am so far gone, I don't know if I'll ever be ok again. I have been sitting here, sobbing, for the past 10 minutes.
I keep praying to God to help me through this pain. It's unbearable.
I know I sound hopeless and desperate. I have to get these feelings out! I am terrified I am too late. I loved him more than anything and now I'm too late.
"Everyone you meet has baggage. Find someone who loves you enough to help you unpack." ¤Formerly DelinquentGurl¤
You're NOT too late, but if you want results, you must act now. I know it's tough, but it's time you get started.
If you recognize all these things about yourself that are hurting the one thing you don't want to loose - your M - then it is time you do something about them.
Stop doing what hasn't worked and start doing what does. Start doing it for you.
"Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending." - Maria Robinson
M: 45 WAW: 36 T: 17 M: 14 Kids: D9 ILYBNILWY: 6/2010 W left: 2/2011 W back: 2/2012
DG We all have gone through what you are going through and there were times when I thought I didnt want to see another day.
But another day came and went and so on. Rinse Repeat.
Point is, YOU WILL GET through this but you have to focus on something . ANYTHING to help the days pass.
It is soooooo hard at the beginning and its still is difficult sometimes but what choice do you have.
Wishing for timemachines is pointless. I too have wished for them but havent seen one yet.
Another strategy is sometimes looking for something to do in the next hour. And then the next hour.
IT WILL GET BETTER.
Just be here when it does Okay DG.
We all care about you and want you to be OK but try not to spend too much time on self loathing and negative energy.
9
BITS M-46 W-42 M-16y T-19 y s10 s15 BombDec.19/09 Sep-F16/10 Sep Papers signed by W- June 30/10 Recon July 5/10 PA foundOut- Oct 30/10 Mental HospNov/10 moved out Nov/10 Leg Sep Mar 15/11
I like that find something to do for the next hour. And then the next hour. When I'm really low, this is what I have to do.
DG, I know it is hard, but you can turn thoughts toward positive. Perhaps that is your goal for the day. And then the goal for tomorrow etc. etc. Hang in there we're with you!
T: 28 years M: 23 years D19 S15 OW Discovery: 3/6/11
