Cautiously optimistic

[~¤DG¤~]

I want to work on our M-more than anything!

I don't think anyone understands how hard it is for me to think positive.
I have such low self esteem, I don't know how to feel worthy.

Why ?

Why don't you feel worthy ?

I've always had low self esteem. For as long as I can remember I have been. Stems from childhood and reaffirmed by toxic relationships.

I am over thinking. I am over analyzing. I am self sabotaging.
I'm depressed. I'm scared. I'm hurting. I miss my husband. I worry he doesn't miss me. I want him to come home. I want to turn back time to before this all happened and do things differently.

This is killing me. Absolutely killing me.
I am so far gone, I don't know if I'll ever be ok again.
I have been sitting here, sobbing, for the past 10 minutes.

I keep praying to God to help me through this pain. It's unbearable.

I know I sound hopeless and desperate. I have to get these feelings out!
I am terrified I am too late. I loved him more than anything and now I'm too late.