From small beginnings come great things

[2stepboogie]

You are spending a lot of time telling her how much you love and want her. I would suggest easing up on this. It is doing nothing to convince her of her feelings for you. ie. she already knows, you don't need to keep reminding her. I feel it is too much pressure.

Spell: yes I agree that I put a certain level of pressure some I did without realizing it some i did on purpose to gauge. I realize i will not convince her of anything. I wanted to make sure she knew the D meant nothing to me. My normal reaction? I would of have cut all contact with her and I think she was surprised I did not. Now is time to live what I have spoken.

I suggest you focus more on being a strong and positive person in her presence, cut back on the R talk a little so you don't seem quite as needy. Don't get me wrong, a good percentage of your conversation is right on target, but you tend to drift back into sections of "I can convince her".

Being the strong and positive force has never been any issue for me. In none of this I assure I came across as weak or needy. It is hard to determine that by words on a computer screen. As far as no R talk I agree with you 100%. At this point there is no R to talk about so that should be easy. The part in bold is where my silver toungue gets me into trouble.

I would suggest not asking her to re-marry, not even as a joke. Let her come to that conclusion later if that is where things go.

Hey man you can't blame me for trying LOL

Asking for sex also. Now you probably think I am gonna 2x4 you for going there. No, I am not, at least not for wanting it, just the way you are going about it. Asking for sex is needy and desperate. Not at all attractive, and setting yourself up for rejection. I have resolved never to do this in my M, and it has improved things a lot. I suggest you take a more confident approach and just escalate when you are close and/or kissing. Tease her a bit and joke about it. Whatever you do, just don't ask her for it.

Desperate? He!! yeah but I promise it was done in jest and it was actually kind of funny for both of us. I do not miss your meaning on this though.

How long do you think it took her to make the decision to leave ?

For the train eye the signs were there for a long time. At least 2 years. Decision to leave? A month prior.

What did you expect to happen when you got there ?

Pretty much exactly what happened. I had my expectations set pretty low.

Let this trip rest for a while....

Let it sit on a shelf , and see what happens for a while...

Be busy elsewhere...

Really Mach there is nothing left to do. At this point it is all in her hands and her timetable. If/when she ever decides she is ready I will see where I am. I might still be in the game I might not. I am moving forward. I have zero choice in the matter.

I leave with my head high. I walked through he!! with gasoline shorts on sound familiar?

The convo about your mom. I swear that convo could easily could have been the one my wife would have with me.good luck man.

My mom is my mom and I am afraid she has gotten a bad rap throughout all this. Much more than she deserves. In the end it came down to my XW and me. That is it. It is easy to put the blame on someone else and use them as the scapegoat for our problems. Substitute my mom and put something else in it's place, does not change anything.

We each have to take stock in our break down and move forward accordingly.