Today is a very hard day for me emotionally. Have not had any contact with H in 24 hours and it makes me so depressed. I sent him a text yedterday letting him know how my Dr's appt went because he asked me to tell him, and I got no response.
I hate that I'm not feeling well. I hate sitting at home. It gives me way too much time to think. I hate thinking.
Part of me feels like giving up. The in limbo is H*LL. I just can't take it anymore. It hurts and [censored] so much out of me. I am waiting for him to decide he loves me and wants our M to work, and I'm just scared that I'll be waiting and he'll decide he doesn't want me anyway.
But then another part of me says I should give him time. That 2 1/2 months in the grand scheme of life is nothing. That so many times in our M I've thrown in the towel and used the D word like it was second language. Ultimately if I give up, it makes me a quitter and I don't want to quit my M.
All I know, is I am tired of hurting. I'm tired of the pain. I just want my family together again. I know life isn't about what I want, it's about happens.
I'm scared to death. I just don't know how to cope.
"Everyone you meet has baggage. Find someone who loves you enough to help you unpack." ¤Formerly DelinquentGurl¤
