Lees' lives it up again

[lees]

I would have definitely done that if things were good. We always used to meet at the door for a big cuddle and kiss. But a few weeks ago she said it was muddying the water too much as it was a couple thing to do, and we're not a couple.

I held my line though and didn't. She came in and asked about my day (I made souffle for the first time, and it was a success!), she commented on the pic of them I posted on FB and then we had a tiny bit of small talk and I kissed her on the forehead with a brief run of my hand through her hair and went to bed whilst she finished her bourbon.

Slipped up this morning though. She was meant to be up at 0430 to drive down south for work and I could hear her alarm going off in the other room repeatedly. Eventually I got up and stood at the open door and said with a wry grin "'surname' if you don't get up right now I will get in there with you!" She mumbled and I repeated it a bit louder standing by the side of the bed. She woke up and I told her her alarm had been going off for ages and she apologised profusely and I gave her a hand to pull up out of bed before going back.

Before she left she came in to say goodbye, have a good evening (staying at a buddy's house for catch up in the 11hrs between my shifts) and was stroking the purring cat lying on my chest. She asked why I was awake, and I said I'd had bad dreams and was lying there wondering if she'd left for work yet or not as all the cats seemed to be in my room. I grabbed her hand after she said have a good evening and said "you too. I love you." She gave me a kiss on the forehead and left.

The weird thing is, the friendliness, the friendly touch, the friendly peck on the forehead or cheek has never disappeared from her. Just the intimate romantic one. The one that says I want to be your life partner, not just a good friend. The one that says I know you intimately, every nook and cranny.

I don't know how to get that back. She's clearly more settled and happier whilst we are sleeping in seperate rooms.

Just hope the MC can do something on Monday to help her decide to reconcile. I think if we have a common goal, a common plan, then we're both the kind of people that are determined and hard working and will get there.