OnMyWay: to who knows where?

[OnMyWay]

So, this is kind of funny. This is happening regularly and it confuses me. I'm not sure what it means:

I've stated before WAW stays at the house with D on the nights when I work late. Past two times, W hesitated when she leaves. I ask her what's up, and she always says the same thing, "Feels like I've forgotten to tell you something, but I can remember what it is."

Tonight it happened again. She said she was leaving, so I got up and started my usual night time ritual and let her go, but she delayed at the door. Same response. I asked if it was important and she said "no," so I told her just to text me later if she wanted. But, I don't think she knows what it is. I'm sure she's not waiting for me to say something. I wouldn't fall into that trap anyway because it would be the wrong thing and she'd have the opportunity to engage me angrily. I just kind of blew it off.

I just think it's interestingly curious. She needs to tell me something, but has nothing to say. That's a funny itch to have, esp. when you can't scratch it.

She was pleasant tonight. I'm sure she is concerned about D & me our trip out of town this weekend. W always wanted to go to SeaWorld. Now D & I are going without her. Perhaps that's it. I'm sure it's weighing on her. WAW is certainly missing out on some memories she'll never have the opportunity to have again. Like I always say, "Be careful what you ask for, you might get it." Freedom from our M has an awful high price.

On one seriously positive note, D is joining a group at school for kids whose parents have D/S. D is actually excited about it (apparently many of her friends parents are going though this, too - perhaps there something in the water here?) as she will get to participate with other kids in her sitch. Anyway, she met with the school C yesterday. He asked about our sitch and whether she goes back and forth between us. She said, "No. Mom picks me up from school sometimes, but I live with my Dad."

Now, I believe my W is a great mom, even still after all we've gone through. But for some reason that simple statement makes me incredibly proud of the father I've become to my D. I'm doing it and loving every minute of it, regardless of what W does or doesn't do. Sometimes I think I don't want W back, because I'm not sure I want to share my parenting responsibilities with anyone else.

Life sure is great.