M: 99 out of 100 times you would of asked that and the answer would have been yes. You know that. How many times did I not want to do it and you would talk me down. You always said it was fine don't say anything, I took you for your word and I did nothing.
W: Yeah but I did not want you to resentment later for it. How do I tell your mom to leave without you resenting me?
Hopefully I am reading this correctly, the whole situation with your mom is slightly confusing to me. IMHO... (correct me if I am wrong on any of this) ...
This is classic "this is not what I mean but I expect you to figure out exactly what I want" stuff.
She wanted something, but only hinted at it and never came out and straight up said it. She did not want to be "the one that wanted her gone". She expected you to make the decision. The reason she always talked you down was because she didnt want to have to be the one to carry that burden.
Just like when you can tell someone is hurting and you say "what's wrong?" and the person replies "nothing". Their words say one thing, but they mean the opposite.
Sometimes our W expects us to be decisive and do things that are in the best interests of the R, even though they may say exactly the opposite.
I suggest if the topic comes up again you approach it as follows:
"Ultimately it doesn't matter what anyone said. I should have known having someone else living in the house would impact our family negatively and taken care of it. I wont be making that mistake ever again."
Spellfire aka Mike
"Women do not like controlling men. They respect and are attracted to men who control themselves. They ultimately are repelled by men who allow themselves to be controlled." -S&A
