L: Really slow i am super tired started my period today bleeding heavily and was unable to sleep today when I tried i was thinking too much.
M: sorry to hear that.
L: yeah im use to it ill be fine .
M: you already are fine! very fine indeed!
L: thx i wish i felt fine tonight.
M: I'm thinking of you like the finest wine maturing and become deeper and even more delicious with age.
L: That is true but these working nights are bad for me and my aging processes lol.
M: yes they are.
L: i'm thinking of taking a 30 minute break to nap .
M: sounds like a good idea.
L: yeah it sure does as i sit here and yawn one after another did you find a new truck or apt.
M: lol. don't make me think of your mouth opening.too sexy.
L:· hahahahahahahaha.
M: I've decided where I'm going to get an apartment which was a big decision, I'm in no hurry to get the truck but I'll definitely buy a Ford.
L:·where.
M: · <omitted>, for now. It's a small town a couple hours outside of <omitted>, nestled between mountains and a lake. Not forever. Just for now.
L: sounds like you a good place for you that is
M: yes.
L: I am happy for you i hope we can find our true happiness
M: I've already found mine. you will find yours I'm sure.
L: well i guess you are always finding things first thats ok i will find my truth i have faith.
M: I love you L----.
L: i love you too michael xoxoxo.
M: I know you will find your truth and whatever and wherever you find it I am happy for you but I am not always finding things first....
L: i know you will be your awesome like that and i will always be there for you as well and happy for you
M: Thanks. I was about to say half the time you are finding things first in fact now is a good time for me to apologize....
L: not sure about that but really who is counting.
M: there is something I want to clear up with you. In fact there are many things I want to clear up with you if that's okay with you?
L: go for it.
M: I want to apologize for not listening.please give me a moment while I gather my thoughts....
L: ok i'm kinda use to that with you but ok.
M: The fact that you are used to me not listening is shameful. I am ashamed to think that for four years you were telling me the most important thing, the way to keep your love tanks full is quality time together and physical touch...I heard you say it many, many times, so many many times, but I never really heard it...The impact of my not listening to you is immeasurable. It has affected everything in our relationship from the way that we made love to the way we raised the kids, managed our money, spent our time together...everything..
L: i know.
M: Yes. And while I now understand why I could not hear you, it does not take away or excuse the fact how much I hurt and disappointed you.I am sorry beyond words that I was unable to hear you sooner..
L: i forgive you though.
M: ((((hug))))You are such am amazing woman.I hope you really get that..
L: ditto hope you can forgive me too for the things i did and did not do.
M: I do forgive you. I do not like many of the things you did and did not do, but now I also can see reasons why you were unable to keep my love tanks full. It's okay, my friend. We're human.We make mistakes..
L: yeah well that is for sure xoxox.
M: this feels like a good conversation. more natural and true..
L: yes indeed.
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Beyond knowing that she is unhappy, the WAW has 3 beliefs:
She believes she knows me. She believes I will never change. Because she believes she knows me and that I will never change, she believes she can never be happy with me.
My job is to patiently change all of those beliefs, because it is her beliefs that are driving her behavior.
So now I am listening and paying very close attention to her, which is what she always wanted.
And I am not forcing things anymore, which is also what she wanted.
Will it be enough? How knows? THAT ISN'T WHAT'S MOST IMPORTANT!
What's most important is the way I feel about myself while being committed to my path.
Hope that helps clear things up.
I am being the possibility of:
1) Integrity 2) Loving myself completely. 3) Things flowing naturally between us, without any fear or attachment to the outcome.
