Couple of things I am thinking / feeling at the moment.
1. Being 100% responsible, but not 100% to blame. 2. Being good with the possibility of us never again being lovers or getting back together.
Being 100% responsible for what I contributed to the divorce drama, I can accept the things I was doing that were not workable.
While not taking 100% of the blame myself, gives me the space to recognize that there is nothing wrong or inadequate with me as a lover, and reminds me there is no reason or benefit to comparing myself to other men that she might have more fun with. It's okay because now I actually feel it in my body - not just know it in my mind - that it really does take two to make things work in bed.
And best of all, being good with the possibility of us never reconciling or getting back together, actually opens up the possibility of reconciling and getting back together!
The reason I say that is because I have come to understand that as long as I am believe and insisting there is no possibility it can fail, then I am compelled to constantly keep on forcing everything to fit and scrambling to hold it all together.
That's not the way love works. Forcing things to fit is extremely destructive and unattractive. There is no way forcing it will ever work. Been there done that before and I know it doesn't work.
So now I get to practice and enjoy being in the flow again and in harmony with people for real.
Ahhh.
Bliss. Heaven. Peace. Ecstasy. It's all here.
I am being the possibility of:
1) Integrity 2) Loving myself completely. 3) Things flowing naturally between us, without any fear or attachment to the outcome.
