So here's where I stand today... In good spirits 70-80% of the time... Huge progress consider where I was. I get out on days I don't have kids. Having fun with OW, who is pretty understanding. She has not met my kids and will not for a while, possibly never if I don't see potential for a long term relationship. I have been open with her and she's not been pushy at all. I enjoy her company.
You sure are doing well, it seems. I would take the money she owes out of the taxes, of course, on legal advice. Why does she get away with not paying court ordered fees?
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
Everything she has done has been unreasonable so far. She want half of everything, but refuses to pay half her car loan, which I am paying. Refuses to contribute and money toward vet bills for the dog I bought her, which she left with me. She gives me a hard time and makes me wait fir every penny she owes based on court orders, but runs to her attorney for money she feels I owe, which is not court ordered... Like her recent $1000 car maintenance bill, which she told me to give her half of. As for her vehicle, we owed 21,000 on it... I've paid on it alone and is now $16,000... She said I can keep it and pay off the full loan or she will keep it ANC I can pay half of what's remaining (nevermind the 5,000 I already paid alone), and she will trade it in for a new car. So basically she will get $13,000 toward her new car, and I'll be left with a $4000 car that is useless with 4 kids, which I HAVE!!! See... PURE INSANITY.
Obviously I know the attorneys will deal with things in a more reasonable manner, but just to give you an idea of how she thinks... She wants more than half of what she feels entitled to and doesnt want to pay a dime toward anything we both should be paying for... Or anything she alone should be paying for.
I'm just venting a bit. Mostly I just laugh at how ridiculous she is.
W and I have not talked since I changed my cell #. She has sent a couple emails re the tax refund... I have not responded. I advised my attorney W is refusing to pay court ordered money and would like to deduct from refund, waiting for approval.
Currently my feelings for W are a balance between pitty and anger with feelings of love occasionally. Not communicating with her is tremendously healing. She has only had a couple short email contacts in last 2 weeks and only re tax refund.
Kids and I are doing well... Working on a veggie garden this year... They like it. Also been taking them to the library getting books... S5... Needs help in the reading dept. A daily task. All is well as it can be. Things will drastically improve when this court battle ends.
Considering all that has happened, W and I not speaking at all is probably a good thing... Gives her time to think. I've read that it can take months even years before WAS sees clearly. I am GAL, with full intention to move on and not look back. I wonder at what point I will close the door on her and never turn back even if she has a change of heart. I have great respect for anyone on here, who has been subjected to such a traumatic occurrence, and despite years of same ole same ole, hang in there and are victorious. My concern is being one of many, who have repeat occurrence despite their best efforts... I struggle with the idea of risking a repeat or just investing my efforts with OW.
Just catching up on your sitch. I have no advice. Just letting you know you have another BITS and reading your posts is helping me.
Me 46 W 43 M 17 S 14 D 11 ILYB 9/2010 EA began July/August 2010 ? PA began Nov/Dec 2010 ? I began DB in Jan 2011 I filed 7/12/11 Kids and I moved out 7/30/11 I'm in it for the kids and me.
W emailed... asked if she could have kids a couple hours longer on a day she has them for a family picnic. I responded with a simple yes, but it's irritating a bit because I feel like she will take them when others are around, so they get the impression she's a mother, when in reality she barely does anything and has refused to take them any other time I've offered. Even when my D6 was having a hard time in school not seeing W, she refused to see her more and only called twice a while ago.
I said yes, because regardless of her reasons, the kids can benefit from the outing and play with their family. It concerns me a bit too, because she was horrible at watching them and has previously been confronted about that by her family when I wasn't there. I usually watched them while she just prances around mingling like a single woman without kids. I won't be there to watch over them like usual, bothers me a bit.
Still ZERO contact with W. She actually mailed me the check for the $ she owes me, even though she typically gives and receives paperwork through my sis. I guess she is moving further away emotionally than she has already. I gave my sis some receipts from child expenses to give to W, which as she was leaving left on the front seat of my vehicle. Oh well another day behind me in this insane moment in my life.
Heard from someone that W posted something on her FB after getting pulled over for blown license plate bulbs... She said it was a setup like I planned to get her pulled over. Obviously I had no idea they were out and bought new bulbs to replace them. Unreal! It just goes to show you, the nonsense they create for attention. I'm somewhat angry that she even implied to her friends that I would do such a thing. Not surprised... An no I did not respond on anyway.
Last week she received a response from my attorney regarding the fact that she should be paying maintenance on HER vehicle (she tried to have me pay half the bill)... I don't drive he vehicle unless an emergency to alleviate problems during veh switches. Also it was noted she was advised of vehicle problems and waited 2 months to address them causing more damage and higher repair bill. Discussed her paying HALF of bill I've paid alone up to this point. A few other things she thought she'd just dump on me. So her response was to post more whining on FB to the world about how our divorce is getting old. Someone responded to her... You could walk away from it even though you initiated it.
