You've set a timetable. It has not been met when you thought it should be.
You went from no contact to A LOT of contact in short time.
Do you keep a journal?
Go back and read from when you went to dinner with your W to today and you will see it was not long ago.
You expecting a certain outcome by now and it has not happened and now you are disappointed.
What you are trying to do is bring a M back from the dead or in other words go from infant stage to adult stage but you wanted on your timetable.
Notice the theme here.
Contact with OM?
I get that part but you have accepted this part of the R when you said you forgave her.
You also accepted when she told you that she will not end it overnight. You told her you understood.
Do you?
Of course I am already D and sometimes we see our actions after they happen much better than when you are involved in it but I live by my words now much more so than when I was still M.
Every action I took every word i spoke although I meant it I said them to get my W back.
She is gone.
I am moving on.
I still give her the same love because I no longer expect to save anything. I have learned to live them through actions.
Erase the timetable
Erase what you think she should do or not do at this point/
Erase your desire to speed the process along.
Erase the illusion of the control you want to have
Erase the anxiety of OM, if you Trust your W then trust her if you don't then what are you trying to save and why?
Go back to the beginning of the process when you were thinking clearly and logical and expecting very little.
