ajm .. i don't want to t/j this thread of yours .. so please stop me if you feel that i am.

i'm kind of in the same boat. is it about winning? there is a part of me that says "hold out for as long as you can because in the end, it will only be his finger prints on that weapon."

but at the same time, my lazy-ass of a stbxh never did any paperwork when we were married. i was the one who managed the paperwork at home. even when he demanded to sell the house, he did nothing to get the paperwork going. he was all talk and no action. talked a good talk .. loud, obnoxious, name-calling, just pure verbal abuse. his way of motivating me to do something was to berate me verbally.

most of the time, i did the paperwork because i had no faith in his ability to get the job done. he almost sold our house for much less than what it was truly worth. had i not stepped in, we would have lost money. we ended up selling it for a nice chunk but did he appreciate my effort to get more money for the house? no, he ended up calling me a money-hungry biatch who only sees dollar signs. my stbxh simply has no brain and that money can fix everything.

so after years of doing the paperwork and fixing his blunders, do i really want to do the filing? no. i'm not his wife anymore. if he wants to get out of this, he can do it himself. he can pay someone to do it if he'd like .. he can pay his way out of this because that's how he always has been. throw money at the problem to fix it because he can't be bothered to deal with it.

sometimes i think that's why he married me. so he had someone to deal with the paperwork and stuff he didn't want to do - like cleaning toilets that he dirtied and taking out the trash. yeah, those were my duties as a wife.

why should i continue to help him in this mission? just like ajm, i gave away everything already. he took 90% of the contents of the home. i have very little and it was okay. it's just stuff. but he wants more. if you think that there's nothing left .. trust me, evil will find a way to get more. even things that were given to me, he wants back. but everything i gave him, he won't give back to me. my engagement ring, my wedding ring, even small gifts .. if i want to keep those things, i will have to pay him to keep these items. it just won't stop. it won't stop. it continues to gnaw at me ..

at what point, do you stop giving and stop being a doormat? at what point, do you say f* it .. i'm done. i don't care if my fingerprints are on the weapon?