That was pointed out to me the other day as well, that I may be still feeling victimized. That until I stop with the victim thought, I would be trapped in this. Ok, I can see that. What I don't yet see is how to let that go and be done with the legal two-step going on at the same time.
I think that is a lot of it...that victim thing. When we get here, it is beat into our heads to let them carry the legal torch with them, and to not file. In the beginning ? I see the benefits of that. Later on, and if we truly do the work, and it's time...then it's time-regardless.
Yet part of us still carries that advice to not do the legal leg-work in this. So I think it does stay with us as a winning or losing thing.
Either way it goes from here, in due time, you will be divorced. I'm pretty sure I am now, just haven't received anything 'final' in the mail yet.
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I kid you not, there is nothing left for stbx to take. There is nothing left for her to hurt me with. I actually have concerns for my physical well being because of that. I have been thinking I should be cautious about that because some young buck may believe her and decide to inflict violence on me to show her he cares. Silly and sick, but it was a thought I had the other day and I have rarely been incorrect about the actions - just the timing.
There is still something to take....that would be you. I always wondered why , after nothing was left, there was still this desire for her to twist that knife again and again. When the material things were divided, then it was something else. Still trying to push those buttons. I too, had thoughts and strange feelings for my well being. I don't think anything is too far of a stretch for most of them.
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Anyway, if you have a suggestion about the competitiveness aspect, I'd be happy to hear it. I don't have anything to "win" except my freedom to be honest. And that is harder and harder to come by....
AJ
Who woulda thunked it.....that the finality of being divorced doesn't end it ?
