geeze, omw... I've only been hoping for that much direct complaining... my own current sitch is that W is lingering and (the minimal) conversation has been pleasant... some proximity friction, but not for mentioning here...
I've told my W that I'd rather hear her complain, because at least it's communication and contact (knowing full well that it is also connectedness, which is VERY important).
I do not have any experience in this condition, yet. Hopefully soon. But I'd be very, very careful to listen and validate at this point, from reading other advice. Keep her talking. If she hears your validation enough and begins to accept and believe that you are understanding her (without turning it around to bite you), she may start to be more open with you and start to share GOOD things, as well.
But... I'd be worried about the "I'm not" comment, as she walked out the door. That would be a flag to me indicating that she'd shut down again. I'd give her a moment (however long that takes her) to contact you again. Don't pursue. Let her digest and then come back to you. The frequency and speed of her next returns may be faster which might lead to more... better... :-)
