You said it feels so surreal right now. You've been registered here a little longer than I, but I still so strongly remember those feelings. When I finally walked out the door, the morning before my W came back from a conference. Kids were in school, my stuff (most, not all) was moved to my new place, and I shut the door for the last time to the house I'd lived in for 6 years, as it was no longer my home.
The reality sets in (perceived, mind you) that it is over. You don't want it, but it just is... as far as you can tell... and things are just... weird... and sad... and... whatever...
And it took me a long time. Probably the four months before I registered here, to even begin to see that it just feels like that, for a while. Then the rest of the emotions set in, in their own time.
It was mentioned above that it is only over until YOU say its over.
How many times over the short time I've been here, have I thought it was over. Believed it was over. Wanted it to be over. And I'm still here, and I will not be D until I finally sign the papers. Papers that I have not been served with. May never be served with. Who knows...? *shrug*
Even after being done. "No, I'm really done now. It is over. I can't take it any more. I will never put that ring back on my finger."
The ring is back on my finger and it will stay there (while) because I AM M. Until I am not.
You DO control when it's over. Because YOU determine when you finally move on. Appreciate that knowledge and enjoy it. And GAL.
