detached from everyone - but ok...

[AntoniaB]

TAMF I think a lot of times when any of us do something we later regret that seems out of control or stupid, it actually jettisons us into a new direction. For me it was looking at the year's worth of my XH's facebook posts and pics. That shellshocked me into really committing to removing him from my future and getting on with my life without him. This "screwup" as you're basically calling it isn't one if you put it to good use, and I think you already are doing so. It seems to have set you on a positive path to grow out of the patterns you see yourself falling back into, so for that reason alone, in the end, it isn't stupid, but necessary. It's only stupid if you keep repeating this sort of blow up, and you know that you will not.

Glad to hear you are turning the outburst into a push to set yourself right.