Don't beat yourself up about it. You have been incredibly strong, what with your H having so much meltdowns and anxiety attacks, coming to you for comfort and support, then leaving again
I fantasize doing that to OW especially with what is happening to my D.
But again, what will it accomplish?
Me:49 H:45 D:12 M:14 T:18 Bomb: 6/26/10 EA: 9/3/10, fizzled out slowly, now ??? 11/5/11 Retrouvaille Finally piecing.... Its peaceful at last, but we got a looong way to go