Sorry for the multiple posts. I'll use this one. I had missed that the others were posted. Thanks to everyone who replied.
WS has been out of town since Saturday. Just some a few texts back and and forth with house/taxes stuff. Although he did compliment me twice.
I still know he texts OW every day.
We are moving his bed to the basement and I'm taking a daybed. I told him that was my intention and he said that daybed stinks let's buy new. I said no, I don't want more stuff stored around the house and that I didn't know how long he would be in the home, nor did I know how long I had patience for continued betrayal so the daybed for me was fine for now.
I just can't sleep in the same bed with him knowing that he refuses to give her up. He is staying in the home due to our son for now.
T: 28 years M: 23 years D19 S15 OW Discovery: 3/6/11
Welcome Croppin to the forum. So sorry about you and your husband. This is a great place to get encouragement, advice, etc, be they DR-related or not. Don't worry, once your thread gains traction, the responses will keep coming.
I'm sorry that you are going through this, but you have come to the right place.
Why don't you give us some more info on your sitch if you can. How long have you been married? Kids? Their ages if you have them How did you find out about the OW? My H has never had a PA/EA so I am not sure how to answer you on that one, but we have lots of vets on the board who will give you excellent advice.
"Everyone you meet has baggage. Find someone who loves you enough to help you unpack." ¤Formerly DelinquentGurl¤
Dig back and think about when you noticed that something wasn't quite right. You found texts on his phone. Why would you be looking at his phone's texts? Unless you suspected...
How have things been going the last few months, years? What has your relationship been like? Have you been attentive? You mention he complimented you. Does he do that often?
The discovery was quite by accident. I was not checking, we were meeting D19 for breakfast and she wasn't answering her phone. WS said "text her" and his phone was near me so I picked it up to text her. It was on the screen when I picked it up. Truthfully, the last couple of years have been hard. S15 with the undiagnosed ADD, me new job, child left for college, WS job responsibilities up warp factor 10, best friend of WS left for new job/move, my mom into assisted living and health issues so she is demanding of my time.
Very busy, very demanding life since October 2009. We even commented on it. The relationship wasn't good with either of us, but for me, I thought it was just that season of our lives where our plate was extremely full and I could see the slow down coming. Just get through it you know?
No, he does not compliment. I can't remember a time when he offers up "I love you" first (his own daughter even says that). He is Mr. even no show emotion and avoids anything emotional. All the emotional heavy lifting is compensated for by me. Which is why he cheats and then says "what do you want to do". Lays it at my feet to decide all of this because he can't/won't make any sort of real move right now.
T: 28 years M: 23 years D19 S15 OW Discovery: 3/6/11
Well caught WS in a lie again. He was traveling for work, wouldn't be home until today, I do all the finances and he used his debit card for the hotel room with OW. I told him that he needed to get his own debit card and bank account so if I'm left to do all the finances, I didn't have this thrown in my face every time I turn around. He is still in the home and moving to the basement. It was with everything in my being not to tell him to get the heck out, move and let his family and friends know of all of his cheating. He's at his IC now.
T: 28 years M: 23 years D19 S15 OW Discovery: 3/6/11
Well he just called me to tell me of his IC. What he agreed with, what he disagreed with. Said counselor hit him pretty good today about if he is even thinking straight. Talked about reconciliation he said his heart isn't in it. Counselor said how do you even know you have OW. Take her out of the picture and who knows how good it could be. Give it six months. He of course didn't think too many people took her up on that. Talked alot about separation. Counselor isn't big on separation because risky (don't know if that is just what he is hearing). He said he really disagreed with her on that. He just doesn't see the risk. And I said, well people will ask why we're separated. Do you have an expectation that I'm going to cover for you? He said well a billboard would be overkill or an ad in the paper. I asked him "are you being sarcastic?" He said yes, and I said well why are you angry with that question. He said he wasn't.
Says he's going back to counseling. We will see. I just go on with GAL and getting back to my funny happy self.
T: 28 years M: 23 years D19 S15 OW Discovery: 3/6/11
