The Roller Coaster Keeps on Rolling

[Redo]

Again, the points are valid, but to me, it still just comes down to patience. It will take her time to start seeing things differently. Just as it took Denever time to get to where he is. I'm just not sure focusing on her remorse, or lack there of, is a positive use of energy. She will either see it or she won't. But either way, it will take time.

Agree with you. I think all of us at some point do have fears if our WAS might change their mind of coming back to us. So in order to have a new meaningful relationship with them, we could either wait for them to realize their mistake and then take them back. But what if they dont?. That fear of losing my wife is what drove me to accept my wife immediately in 2009 when she wanted to come back.

I'd love to hear from the vets here about this. But after you accept them back and exercise patience and do everything possible for the relationship, will your spouse have any reason to realize that she was wrong in playing the victim card? If your spouse does not realize that, where is the change then? You are back to square-1. But if you left them to realize what they have done, then you take the risk of losing them because they might never realize. So out of fear of losing them you accept them hoping that they will change once they came back into the fold with you. But will they???

I dont know...I think i totally confused myself here . If you got a headache reading above, sorry....