Standing up to the punches

[Redo]

Journaling...

I started writing some poems yesterday. I used to write rhyming poems back when i was in school. Now every time i have a fond memory of my daughter or wife, i feel like i should put it down as a poem. I think it best describes the state of my mind...

I am meeting my L today. I think i'll just put down what i'd been working with wife until now and ask L if things are fair or i am digging a hole for myself. But i dont plan on retaining a lawyer to represent me unless wife decides to not back off some unreasonable requests she has made. I still feel bringing lawyers into this will just make matters worse.

wife is now back to interpreting daughters words for me when i talk to daughter on the phone. I like to hear my wife interpret. My family is still surprised that i still have feelings for her. Hard to describe it. It's funny. My family asks me how i could love her when she threw me on the street. I cannot explain. But i still love my wife. Yea she does not even ask me how i am doing even though she knows very well that i have 0 support system in the US. But i understand that right now for her I am just a stranger. Some days i do have thoughts as to how and why i should get back with a person like her who has zero feelings. But then i convince and justify that she did have feelings. Right now they are dead.