It's just all too surreal at this point. It's getting better but some days (like this morning) are just plain awful. I know I was happier just a few weeks ago than I am now...

BUT is that bc I was with her and had some hope?

I'm not sure. I did think things were better. Now I know they aren't. I guess it was easier when I was actively working on the sitch and felt I was getting somewhere. Was I totally happy? No. But I could see a future that I was.

At this point, I don't see a happy future. I know it's part of the process and the blah blah blah about you making it happy but it doesn't ring true to me - right now.

I'm owning this pain and working through it. It [censored] and I feel I don't have a future. Venting that helps for sure.

The hardest is when I think of the future. It all just seems so bleak...

I am reading as you suggest but as far as DBing...I don't know anymore...it seems like a waste of time.

m 40
w 38
married 15
together 18
d11, d8
bomb 12/19/10
2nd bomb 3/30/11
COMPLETELY DONE