My interpretation of these things, the meaning I am giving the events that recently happened, the way these circumstances are occurring for me, is that my wife intuitively made our marriage into nothing because from nothing anything is possible.
These are my words to describe my experience. It is the meaning I am giving to the things that have happened. It is not the only possible meaning. It is only the meaning I have chosen.
The words I have chosen are not the same words she used to describe our circumstances. She simply said that in her heart she felt that something wasn't right, and the way things were going, she could never be happy as my wife.
That is how the circumstances were occurring to her, and then by her actions, she wiped the slate clean. She had said she wanted "a more true to me beginning." She believed the only way she could ever really do that, was to be really done with me. Divorce was simply her way of being true to herself. It was her way of standing up for herself, of showing that she trusts herself and can make her own decisions.
Her feelings and my thoughts are two sides of the same coin. They are correlated. For me they both amount to the very same thing.
My path is clear.
2 days before she filed, I had her name tattooed around my ring finger.
Yesterday, I enrolled her mom in the possibility of the three of us working together to make things happier and more stable for everyone concerned.
Right now there is no meaning to the path that I have chosen. It means nothing that I am on this path. The path is devoid of meaning. The path is empty and meaningless. It is the path that I have chosen because it is the path that I have chosen.
It is the sound of one hand clapping.
Just as her actions, my actions, our actions, all actions have no meaning other than the meaning I choose to give them.
I alone am the source and the cause of all my actions.
My actions are correlate to the way the circumstances are occurring for me. The circumstances are only occurring for me in language. When I put the language I've been using aside, anything is possible.
Including taking action to create more opportunities to speak to my wife in her primary love languages of quality time together and physical touch.
Including the possibility of putting all this blah blah blah aside and shakin' a leg with my wife.
Ya feel me, Dog?
I am being the possibility of:
1) Integrity 2) Loving myself completely. 3) Things flowing naturally between us, without any fear or attachment to the outcome.
