Punkin, Sometimes we have to hit them right between the eyes w/reality. No 2x4's from me. They push and push until they have you up against the wall.
If he responds, print it off and file it away. Do not respond back. If he's like most of them, he may not respond back for a while.
You did what you had to do in order to survive.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Thanks for the cudos ladies. I could use them. No word ( no surprise) from the H since my last missive.
I do feel surprising better about getting that out of my system.
I feel at peace that God has given me the sign I asked for in regard to was I headed down the right path.
I still love my husband, but then, I still love my Mom, and she's been gone for 38 years. So I assume this love will also find it's time and place in my heart to reside.
Can't say i am any less nervous about the Court outcome. Just wanting it all settled!!! I know I am not alone here in that sentiment.
Snodderly, the letter I wrote that you so wisely advised me to hang on to for now? Shredded it. I guess I had my say, enough to suffice, anyway.
The start of another lovely week, ladies and gentlemen. Start your engines . . . . .
Wow, Punkin! That is one awesome email you sent your STBX. After all the things he has said and done, and after what the OW has done .... I applaud you. I hope it gets them off your back. And there's nothing in there that isn't true.
I love your last sentence.
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
All quiet on the Western front since last Email, but contact with H always put me into nights of no sleep and nightmares. HATE IT. Last night, I must have woken up 5 times.
I know it's all part of the process. My subconscious duking it out with my conscious sort of thing. Amazingly, after over a year, I still wake up sometimes and reach next to me to feel H. That is wrong on so many levels, I can't begin to ponder.
ME: 54 Him: 51 M: 20 years T: 21 years OW/New wife: 36 Sons & Daughters: 7 (ages 24-36) Bomb: March 4, 2010 He Filed: April 28, 2010 I Contested: May 1, 2010 Standing Down: 11/24/10 Divorced : 05/04/2011
"Amazingly, after over a year, I still wake up sometimes and reach next to me to feel H. That is wrong on so many levels, I can't begin to ponder."
It's not wrong, it's Pavlovian. It's a learned behavioral response. I don't think you can really control this.
Here's one for you: I've stopped having the "XH out of the corner of my eye" thing inside the house, but outside? I went out to mow the lawn the other day. Nearly every time I was riding the mower facing the back of the house, I'd look to the screen porch door or the deck door expecting to see him. I think because so many times I'd be out mowing what we called "the back 40" which is just a very wide area of all straight mowing--hence, the part I used to do while he did the more difficult stuff--and I was used to seeing him by the house weed-whacking while I mowed the back.
I can't get that association out of my head.
I put his jeep in the parking area out front all the time. It's like I see it when it isn't there.
I think it's all just Pavlovian and some kind of weird brain thing and until some other guy's vehicle sits in that driveway, I'm going to see his there next to mine. I give up. I can't get rid of it ;-)
M45 Bomb 6/09; EA 6/10; Divorced 1/11 Proud single mom of 7 little feline girls and one little feline boy "Fall down 53 times. Get up 54." -- Zen saying
Still no reach out from the great and mighty OZ. I'd like to think my last email hit a tender spot, but won't count on it. That would be an expectation.
Very tired from getting no sleep, but know this is just a path I have to follow for the moment.
Expect to hear that he has discontinued autodraft for house pymt at any time. Don't imagine it will make him look good, but will it matter? Wondering if I will have to declare bankruptcy to avoid foreclosure of the house if he does. I know, I know, cross that bridge when I come to it.
There is this crazy little part of my brain that wants him to knock on the door some night soon and be there to tell me he has made a horrendous mistake. That he wants to work things out. Then I think, " And what if he did? He's still the same messed up, alcoholic individual that he was. Only a fool would take him back." I know that's the truth. He's made no effort that I know of to confront and deal with his inner demons. I would be taking back the same broken individual he was before. SIGH!!! Wish I didn't love the SOB.
