Lees' lives it up again

[lees]

Well an interesting evening in the end. She came home, we had dinner together and about 30 mins chatter about the day. Then she said "we can talk if you like but I'm still very angry."

So with my recently acquired Mars and Venus knowledge I sat and listened, and prompted, and listened, and prompted.

She was changing her mind about working on our relationship during the counselling session apparently. Was becoming more of a realistic idea to work at. Now she isn't so sure after our argument at the end. She's angry both at me for what was said in the street, and at the counsellor for not being able to accomodate her election schedule and saying she couldn't work with us if we couldn't attend regularly.

She thinks I was cruel to mention babies in our argument after counselling last week, as she has had 2 miscarriages in the past. It was part of an angry spouting forth on my behalf, mostly about her work being more important than me, our relationship, or indeed anything else when she couldn't find time to attend a second appointment. When she chased me in the street I told her she could keep her damn elections and hoped they would give her the lifelong happiness, love, affection, support and children that she seeks.

Tried to keep my disappointment out of it and just listen though. Said she understands my point of view, and that it's natural for me to be so insecure after being told she doesn't love me anymore. But still thinks I'm cruel, and she'll still be putting the election in front of anything bar major accident or family death, a mere counselling appt is not worth jeapordising her job over.

I didn't feel heard by her but it seems she did, as she said she felt less angry for talking about it. A small part of me is pleased she is hurting and angry, partly as I think it does her good to feel a bit of what she's dished out (selfish and vindictive I know), and partly because any emotion is better than the apathy I was recieving before.

Guess I have a choice here. Drop my expectation that counselling needs to be as highly prioritised for her as it is for me, or walk away. I suppose if there were a major incident at work I'd be missing a counselling appt for it!