The Roller Coaster Keeps on Rolling

[Denver_2010]

Denver,

--You do need to own your part in the A. She had an A, because you were not a good H. You were not meeting her needs. You created a situation that allowed her to become vulnerable to that sort of thing. While you didn't force her to get into the bed, you did hold the door wide open for her.

You need to recognize this and figure out a way to make sure that YOU don't do that again.

And you need to forgive both her and yourself for it. If you don't, I can guarantee that the reconciliation, won't last very long...


Denver, deal with your issues. Deal with your feelings. Decide, now that the possibility really exists, if you CAN do this.

I posted this to you, two threads ago...

Go read your answer to me...

It was full of I knows, just like your responses to others today have been...

So, can you do this?

I do Cat. I think that this is what I have been doing ... dealing with my issues and my feelings.

Have I forgiven my W? I can... I think that I have... but that doesn't mean that I agree with her opinion of OM.

But I do know that I should not voice my opinion of OM to my W. I made a mistake. It won't happen again.

Do I own my part in the A... absolutely. This is the ONLY reason that I am able to forgive my W for it.

My problem is not with an inability to forgive, I don't think... Nor is it with my inability to own my part in it.

My problem is with my W's opinion of OM and her inability to see things my way!! This is making me insecure, and causing me to ask for reassurance and validation...

LOL... not funny, I know. But I am recognizing the error of my thinking here.

BAM! My own 2x4 ... thank you very much.

Thanks Cat.
Denver