It's perfectly natural for you to make the OM seem like a scumbag. But remember, your W was the one who made the decision to fall for it. She recognizes it was her choice and feels like the OM is a "victim" in all this.
More important than her looking at the OM like a d*ck is the fact that she should be more concerned about the pain she caused YOU. She has to express REMORSE for her actions. It seems like she's showing REGRET which is like saying, "hey I'm sorry I hurt you only because I was caught".
Remorse is when she's willing to alleviate your fears and insecurities and doesn't casually dismiss them. You were the hurt party and had to swallow alot of her sh*t when she was going out with the OM. I know the feeling. But in order for your M to truly heal, she has to understand, really understand from your POV how much you were hurt and empathize with you.
Have the two of you discussed MC or at the very least, reading about As and its affect on both of you?
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
