Won't stand for a broken family

[Timetotry]

I have not read DR yet; tried to find in several stores but will order online asap! Thanks for the other suggestions too, I will work on them.

As for goals/more of what I want, I only want more 'couple' time with my H without his phone on computer accessible at the time, so I won't think the worse. Everything else is/was perfect for me in our marriage. I think because that was lacking lately, my mind began to accuse his actions. The problem is my H is thinking negatively when he is alone, as if he is/never was enough for me and cannot get past that. When he has told me this, I validate and try to give positive reinforcement that he immediately rejects saying its too late. My issue, I believe, is getting him to be open to try and give it time. I am working on myself and doing some things for me as well as the 180s, he is noticing some but he is not convinced its for good.
I cannot get anything else out of him that he considered a problem. This is his major issue that he won't get past and refuses to goto counseling. It just doesn't add up to me.
My one goal I have thought about is that on our anniversary evening, since he will be over, we can spend time together with the kids and just a simple acknowledgement of the anniversary. Although the 180 actually would be for me to say 'happy anniversary' first, I think that would come across as pursuing, so I can't.
Is this simple goal in line with the suggestion recommended?