It is kind of funny isn't it? The way they portray themselves the hero/heroine? "I never loved you" <swoon>. I once got told that she was leaving because of the way I was with the kids. Not long after that, she said it was her fault. Then in a fit of rage, said she would have left already if we didn't have the kids. Huh? That was back in the dark ages when I thought I could make sense of this. Before I realized it was a mid life transition of sorts....and my crisis. LOL. Never rid of them? Yuck. I don't know that I mind too much though. I can manage it. She said she wanted to be friends once. She tried to lessen the burden of guilt by offering to fund a business for me and similar things. (huh?) She told me once she is not a "bad" person. Hmm... Heck, who am I to judge I suppose. But at the same time I am not a masochist. Neither am I vindictive. That's simply not who I am or will be. Plain as that. So, what to do? Personally, I can minimize the impact she can have. Does it require work? Yes. Did she once say she wanted to be friends? Yes. Did she show otherwise? Absolutely. Many times. What to learn from that? Don't trust her. Still if ever. I know damn well I don't deserve what I got. Ok, life isn't fair. But life is good. For one thing, I do NOT have to live with that nut job. Do I care for her? Sure. But I do NOT want anything to do with her for now. One day if she drops the rage towards me, maybe. But I can't think why. One thing I've noticed is they seem to bury the feelings they have for LBS so deep they get really lost. But I do know that if you bury feelings alive, they have a habit of rising later... I don't envy her that. I get to deal with my feelings now. I have a chance to be completely free of her. Of course I'll have to deal with her due to the kids from time to time. Not what I mean. I have the opportunity to be completely free of her and each day I get to take another step in that direction... Life is good. AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
