Just in case anybody was waiting for more to respond here is part 2
The moment she left, she left furious. I had never seen her that angry, she was angry because I was doing the exact same thing she was. The same exact thing I reluctantly agreed to, and she encouraged. Well of course I was destroyed, hurt, confused, but adamant to get her back. I hadn't bought DR or DB at this point yet, but many people had told me to just let her go, and let her come back. So instead of calling her to beg her to turn the car around and drive back home I let her take the 6 hour ride to El Paso. Then she texted me.... Every 40 minutes or so she would stop send me a text message that implied "please say the right thing to change my mind." She kept reiterating that if she made it to El Paso it was over so I better say something quick. This went on until she finally made it to El Paso around 1 in the morning. I thought it was over. She sent a message letting me know that she made it home safely. By this point I decided to go dark, didn't call her, or text her. Instead I would get a text about every 20 to 30 mins. Hadn't read DB or DR yet so I would respond. This led to some very long soul searching conversations over text. At this point she started going out with her friends, and family of around her age. Lots of clubbing and drinking. I gave her space, and didn't do what I used to do, which was text and call like crazy. Which seriously pissed her off. All her friends supported her on her decision to divorce....all her friends are single or divorced.... One of her friends got her a job interview the next morning. So we got into the "you better say the right thing to win me back before I get this job or you wont have a chance." I continued to give her space and never texted or called until she would. Which she would do often. Well she got the job, around that time she started getting fed up with living with her parents (this is one or two days into her leaving). So she started saying that she wanted to move out, and get her own place, and that if she signed a lease, then it would definitely be over then!! This was when she started saying things like, "I will do ANYTHING to move out", "If I have to sell myself I will." As you can imagine this HURT. I offered to help her, but she wouldn't take my money, said she didn't want to depend on me anymore, and would rather take to the streets than do that. Also at this point she had two weeks before her 8dll an hour started. This became another deadline, where I had to say the right thing before her orientation, or it was over. Well long story short a very wise friend who was herself a WAW, but had fixed her marriage gave me some good advice. Long story short she told me all the DB basics, going dark, 180's, how to change etc etc etc. Not sure if she has read DB or not, but everything she said fits DBing and it worked. My wife returned after two weeks, but not without some concessions. She turned down the job and moved back in, but demanded the marriage stayed open. I said that I was still uncomfortable with it, was closing my account, wouldnt seek for anyone for myself, but I understood that she still was unsure as to her needs so she was free to have both men and women outside the marriage. The day she came she almost demanded we had sex. By this point I had gotten DB, and DR, and looked up some sex help. Her response to the performance was. "That was pretty ok" I took it as the fog talking and still believe she loved it. Before she came home, I super straightened the house, did some home improvement, and GAL'ed as much as I could. She was shocked yet as can be expected very skeptical.
