Bea, I'm right there w/you. My xh has been at it for 11+ years and it's not changed much. The only difference is my lack of contact w/him and the fact that he's only nice or inquires about my family when he wants something. The first few years of this madness, he was angry all of the time and nothing pleased him and the lashing out was horrible and unexpected.
He got a nice settlement, a new wife and should be living the life, but he's still at it 11+ years down the road. Is he truly happy? Who knows, but I sure went on w/my life. People who are miserable tend to stay in their hole and try to bring others down into the hole, especially the ones they think caused their misery. People who are happy don't do this type of stuff.
I was told my an elderly woman many years ago that I would never get rid of him until he was six feet under. I'm beginning to think she was right.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
