Right now, this past week, my W agreed she was finally ready to say the D word out loud. Started discussing how it would all dissolve and how cheap it can be if we remain amicable through it all. Like she's been holding off saying D out loud, while she planned and prepped for it.
For me, I'm starting to believe that it isn't worth the fight. I "love her, but I'm not IN love with her", may not have really loved her all along, and really, have nothing nice to say or think about her right now. I wonder if it is actually ME that is MLC, not her.
But the members of this group provide awesome feedback and help us think what we're doing.
Probably in your case, as with mine, we may DB (ie. work on ourselves) through to the bitter end and if... IF... our spouses decide they want to try to R, we may very well (and that's part of the point, I think) not be interested by that time. We may finally have a life that is great without them.
That is the scary part. But that's when we will need to decide whether to truly drop the rope (ie. sign the papers) or whether we are prepared to take another look at R. THAT is when it is up to us, not before, and not now, and maybe not for a long while.
