I like your strap line 'Live your life or it will live you' I get a sense that maybe you need to revisit it?
Do something different, take the initiative and maybe move out - not the same as making things easy for your h. Your choice though
If he feels things haven't worked why stay together? If there is an OW it might help to focus his mind if you take some action. Why wait on him - it just gives him the control.
