Honestly, I think overall I look great ;-). As you know (I can't stop talking about it), I am a runner so being fat is not a problem. I hit 40 last year and know I don't look my age. Heck my first IC thought I was 10 years younger. I think I look pretty good and didn't hurt that I finally started buying clothes that make me look good. (as per my wife's suggestions)
Of course at 40 things start to sag a little, but I'm okay with that and/or I will start working on that after the BM.
I think my biggest self image issue is my teeth. Quite frankly, they are in horrible shape. And it's a pretty big issue for me, but fixing them would require substantial $$. I guess I also hate the judgmental looks from dentists as well. grr.
I got caught up with Bolt and posted a mssg to him. But for the most part, I'm not going to interact with him. I think it might be a little painful since our situations were so close (or so we thought)
Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet. --Jean Jacques Rousseau.
Not to discount physical appearance - looking 10 years younger and all that can't hurt! - but I'd think foremost she'd see strength and resolve. And committment.
See everyone got to see what a "jerk" I am. I'm just waiting to get banned.
That whole thing with Sandi went out of control and I think we BOTH bear responsibility.
One thing that really hurt me was when she lied that basically I had been hostile to her from the start and I sought her out to harass her.
The DB lesson from this is you can't really control how your spouse will interpret something and that is something we don't really talk about.
Oh well, I guess I won't hold my breath waiting for sandi to retract what she said or an apology.
But I do apologize to sandi and the board that it got out of control. However, I still remain firm in my belief that I'm am going to take advice her with a grain of salt.
Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet. --Jean Jacques Rousseau.
Okay, Sandi, Dmod, S2Def, you guys win. I'm quitting this board.
1. Sorry, Sandi that you really couldn't handle someone not taking 100% of your advice. But I truly believe that if I followed your advice to a "T," I'd be in divorce court and not working on my marriage. You have to let people run their own lives. I appreciate what she does here, but she has no experience as a LBS, it shows a lot.
2. Almost no one on here is trained as a psychologist or counselor and yet we (myself included) are attempting to give way too much advice that could have huge negative consequences. & when it blows up, we can't simply absolve ourselves. That feeling really [censored] to have something happen that is so terrible to someone I was giving advice to.
3. People complain because the success stories don't stay around. I now know why. I've detected a lot of subtle hostility towards myself from a number of people on newcomers. With few exceptions they want advice from people who are hurting like them.
4. I have learned a lot...some of it is great...some I think is just terrible advice.
I may have one more post tomorrow.
Jack TB- You are freaking awesome and I think you are a huge credit here. You guidance over the past few months has been of great value. I will miss seeing your responses to my post, but I think with enough creativity you could probably "friend" me. I don't know if you've ever thought about a late life career change, but you seem to have the counselor's touch.
Bolt and XYZ ... we shared our journey and that was great to know I wasn't alone. I was kinda gruff sometimes, but everything I did with the best intentions for your to get to your goal. Bolt..I pray for you, but I am hopeful you will emerge as a greater person. XYZ...I hope you are on the path you want to be on.
Still learning - Keep it up and don't be afraid to take charge a little. You have it in you..you just need to find it.
Peace.
Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet. --Jean Jacques Rousseau.
Harrier, a lot of what you say here is true. I think if you re-read your posts to sandi you would find the tone that was offensive. Sandi2 doesn't ask that folks agree with her nor does she badger folks for not taking her advice.
You are not being asked to leave, just to leave sandi2 and S2D alone.
Whether you choose to leave or stay, we wish you the best.
When you censor people, move their posts, edit their posts, tell them when, what and where they can post, it tends not to feel very welcoming.
Coupled that with the fact that you let certain posters say anything about other posters regardless of whether it's true and you pretty much tell people they aren't welcome. (something you STILL haven't addressed).
Like it DB it's about actions not words.
Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet. --Jean Jacques Rousseau.
Your tone was offensive. In fact, if you remember when you first came on here, you said that was one of the issues your W had about you. The fact that you could be too aggressive sometimes. It goes along with you originally not having patience.
No one "attacked" you. You decided to take what they said AS an attack. There's a difference. Sure you're going to say things that the posters on here may or may not agree with. But no one "attacked" your POV. Just how you were saying it.
You want to take things personally that's up to you. But I noticed you were doing exactly the same things with your W. You took things personally when it really isn't what she was trying to do. And from what I saw, you were the only one following sandi in response to your post on various other posts. You were being aggressive. TAke a time out.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
I've been away, sort of, with only access via my phone. I haven't been keeping up a well as I usually do.
I hope you don't leave the board. You've been through quite a lot and have put the pieces back together again - our situations are somewhat similar and it's been good to see your success, which I attribute to a heck of a lot of hard work and an inner strength.
nevertheless I think it's good to remember that we're all under a good bit of stress here....
If you do leave the board I want to wish you the best for your M and to say thanks. And best of luck in the BM!
If you stay - as I hope you do - I can, for my part, only offer the chance to see me climb out of my hole and strengthen my M......hmmmmm.......makes reality TV seem appealing, I'm sure.
