We just had a really great conversation. It did not start out so great though. He remembered that he agreed to help me with my finance homework (so that by itself is good), but he was being rather nasty about the way I was doing things, so I said, "hey, if you're going to be mean and nasty, I don't need your help and you can go elsewhere", and he quickly got it together. He actually wasn't all that helpful. I had found the website Mint.com a few hours before he came home, and that gave me a lot of tools that I didn't realize I had at my disposal. He even admitted it's a pretty cool tool that he had never seen before. I also told him I liked how it broke everything down to prove that I financially contribute a lot to the relationship. Again, he made some snarky comment, so I showed him the evidence and I said, "you make me feel like a freeloader financially speaking, and I just want you to realize that I give a lot to this. Not as much as you, but you make almost twice what I make". Again, this kind of shut him up.
A friend called in the middle of all this and I couldn't really talk, so I chit chatted a bit and then hung up. H quickly said, "well, if you're going to talk about me in front of me then I'll just go hang out with my friend now". I explained to him, in a very non-defensive, calm tone what had actually transpired (none of which was talking about him), and after a few minutes he realized that I was telling the truth. He apologized, said that he was making the worst assumptions, then told me it was alright to talk badly about him to my friends.
I assured him that I'm not. But again, he said it was fine if I needed to. WTH?
I told him that I was being honest with him, and I just wanted him to be honest with me, like why he didn't want to sleep in the bed the other night. He said, "I just need space".
"Ok, then tell me that" "I don't want to have a 40 minute conversation about why I need space" "Have we had 40 minute conversations about why you need space in the past 3 weeks?" "......No....." "Then just tell me that and I'll back off. But if you make up some BS lie, then yeah, I'm going to ask a lot of questions. I understand you need space, and I'm willing to give it. Just be honest." "....ok....."
Then he proceeded to tell me all about his day and what he was planning to do tonight with a friend (all of this was unsolicited info). As this was going so well, I threw out the wrench to see what would happen when the conversation veered near the topic.
"Yeah, D is big. I felt her move here and here at the same time today"
H quickly changed subject and made his exit. He still left on a very good note. I had to suppress the "ok, be safe, I love you."
