Am I doing everything wrong?

[Confused423]

Sandi,

Thanks for the advice. I know all of these things. I really do just want to be with him...period! I know that makes me sound desperate...I just don't know how to separate his lies from the truth. He tells me that I hurt him and that he doesn't know if he can trust me anymore.

I don't want to be his SECONDS...really I don't!! I've just loved him for sooo long that I am having a very hard time not doing the things that we have always done.

Our D is having a REALLY hard time with all of this and I'm struggling because unfortunately I want to make this easy for everyone and I can't. It's very new and frustrating!!!!

I am working on my self esteem and I'm going out to try new things. I have been going out with friends and enjoying their company and it has been really nice!! Everyone has been pushing me to go out with someone new, but I can't make them understand that I'm not ready for that and that I'm MARRIED!!! Whether he is faithful or not...I AM!!!

I'm trying to DB, but anytime I go dark it seems that things get worse...not better. UGH!!!

Thanks for giving me some advice...keep it coming...I'm always interested in someone else's perspective!