Unwavering hostility

[AJM]

I read this thread and can so totally see the future now.
Yep, they do blame us for things, don't they? And it likely never ends in their minds. For whatever reason, they can't let it. It's possible that to them, we represent what hurt them. We can go and get help because they don't "need" it, right?
As it was once explained to me, she doesn't hate me. She hates the image she painted in her head of me. (i.e. demonized me). It was also once explained that mine doesn't have the tools to deal with her cr*p and will likely always feel this way towards me. The lack of trust, the anger, it's my fault etc. I watched this trainwreck for a long time. I believe those that told me those things are correct. What used to sadden me is that the anger is eating her up. It is sad, but I let that go as it is not my responsibility and I can do nothing for it.
And as others have said, until she hits bottom she likely won't change. Because until then, she won't face her own actions directly and it "must" be my fault. A cycle of sorts. The alternative is not something she is equipped to handle.
Staying as dark as possible avoids much of that for me. I may get a few years of peace if she remarries the OM.

Anymore, I learned to laugh at some of these things. Except the threat of violence that may come later from some over eager boyfriend that believes I'm evil incarnate and the devil's mentor. LOL.

There comes a point where you have to let go and assume this person intends you harm. I hate to say that, but some people really do believe that you are to be punished and think if only they can punish you enough...they will be happy. From what I've seen, they try just about anything except getting help. Maybe that's the last thing if they are lucky....

Peace,
AJ