I wonder if our H's stayed because they saw the weakness in our D's, or did our D's react in this way, this cutting, because of H's toxic presence?
My D wasn't cutting when he lived here, so that was not an issue for him. When she started, I'm sure he talked to her and I'm sure he still does.
I remember once I called him to talk about it with him and when he answered I just totally flipped out. Only did that once though.
I know that he met with D's therapist once. He hasn't contacted her again. He doesn't talk to me directly about the girls anymore. If something serious (life threatening) were to happen, I'd let him know.
Otherwise, I've spent the last few years looking to find a way we could talk about D's without him feeling pressured (and yes, he has said and shown this).
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Is life easier for you now that H is gone? You have not posted for a long time about your sitch. I gather you are doing OK.
It became easier after awhile. I didn't "kick him out" or anything. He was gone before he left.
Mach said something once that really struck me as profound (an very true in my case), he was talking about emotional vs legal divorce. My H divorced me emotionally before he ever left.
The last couple of years were really tough (nothing to do with H), but yes, I am doing well. Thanks for asking.
