New and desperate

[ninelives]

Hello Kappy:

First thing to do is try and not panic. Your sitch doesnt sound so bad but you need to elaborate more and give more details.

I just posted a lot of things on cropped thread so if you read those, that is a starting point in my opinion.

The good news is that your H has not checked out yet and there isnt evidence of a PA yet but dont rule that out ever. I made the mistake of burying my head in the sand when it came to that.

I would have handled things differently had i did some more investigating for an affair.

IT is so important to remember that although you want to save your marriage , and believe me when I say this to you, we all do and badly but as days go into weeks and then into months , you may realize that you are not defined by your spouse. You were an individual before you met him and you can be again.

NOw before you dismiss this, Trust me when I tell you that over a year ago when I first found out, i thought I was going to die.

Could not sleep, eat( lost 50lbs BTW), concentrate on anything for longer than a few seconds and could only think about my S.

And that happened again when she left for the second time which was worse because I found out about her affair and she is still with OM.

But things do get better if you give it time. Patience is the key to all this. You cannot be making rash decisions and letting your life run you.

It is so difficult to believe this right now but it does get better.

Also, you may not even have to worry about that because like i said, it sounds there is hope for you guys, there always is until you decide its over.

Well roll up your sleeves and get ready to do the hardest work yo ever imagined doing.

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