I am busy. I work a 50 hr week. I am working towards exams for the last time (thank heavens). I go running. I see my friends. I socialise. I play music. I have been staying with friends for last 5 days, she doesn't know where, or what I am doing. I let her know I was safe and when I would be back, and told her I'd booked counselling as I would find it beneficial and she could come if she liked.

She has moved her work commitments in order to come to counselling. This is a big positive. She also stated how positive she found the last session.

My previous is a 3yr relationship which ended in marriage and then fell apart because a few weeks after getting back from honeymoon the XW was sleeping with one of my best mates and my work colleague. I fought hard for that one too initially, but they rode off into the sunset eventually, and I decided I didn't want her in the end if she could exhibit that kind of behaviour with no remorse. We divorced, which I found very difficult as I've always believed that marriage is for life and you don't just give up when it hits a rocky patch. But she obviously didn't have the same views in the end, despite spouting them ad nauseum to me before we tied the knot. I never got any other feedback from her about what was missing in our relationship. I have had 3 other long term relationships of between 3 and 5 yrs which finished on good terms as we ended up in different stages of life with different ideals to follow. I am still friends with these exs.

Her previous is a 10yr relationship and a few 6 month ones since. She was single for about 8 months before we met.

We have broken up. She broke up with me. I am living in HER house. It is not a joint house. She owns the deeds, pays the mortgage. I have no claim on it (I own my own property but it is 400 miles away). I find it difficult to stay on that basis, although I think as long as we are attending counselling together I will endeavour to do so.

Prior to meeting we are both in similar stages of life. Careers gone well, decent jobs, financially secure, want to settle down and have a family. That is both our deals.

And now, I have the joys of night shifts until Monday morning.

Reality is that which, if you don't believe in it, doesn't go away.