Cautiously optimistic

[~¤DG¤~]

Last night H came over for a little bit when he was done with work.

We had a nice time actually, talked a lot about nothing in particular, laughed, cuddled and watched TV.
We did have a little R talk (I know, I know) and I can't say for sure what is going on in his mind
I did get the feeling that it isn't a matter of "IF" he comes home, it's more like "When".
He is very adament that he does not want a D, so that gives me hope.

I do know, that my focus needs to be on me and GAL for myself.
It was pointed out to me yesterday that I am sitting around and waiting for him to make me feel better.

I don't want that. I want to make myself feel better.

I have my rubber band around my wrist, ready to snap when the negative thoughts pop into my mind.

[~¤DG¤~]

Journaling-----

Trying not to get my hopes up or move too fast. I don't want this to blow up in my face.

[Brian in Hville]

That is great DG. Don't stop doing what you are doing. You keep working on yourself regardless of what he says. Just remember, you will never make someone else happy until you can make yourself happy.

[~¤DG¤~]

Thanks Brian. I need to keep reminding myself of that.

[Harrier]

LOL.. I did the rubber band thing myself. I'm at some point I'm sure my W thought "why is he wearing a rubber band?"

It's a positive step that he doesn't want the D. but it can be easy to use that as an excuse to not work as hard. (I know, I was guilty ofthis)

But my W once said to me, "I have lots of reasons to stay, don't give me reasons to leave."

[~¤DG¤~]

Wow...that is a good line. I am going to keep that in my head. Thanks for that.

I know I can't stop DBing...ever. It has to be my new way of life.

[jbnati]

Sounds like you're making progress, DG. I would agree that it's a VERY positive step that he doesn't want the D. I think you are recognizing what needs to change. You just need to do it. Snap the rubber band as much as you need to!

[Michael M]

Sounds like your in the same boat as me. My WAW is coming home for a trial run tonight and plans on staying the weekend, if not longer.

[OnMyWay]

That's awesome, DG. If he has that commitment, then take a breather. No need to rush into anything. Get yourself right first.

I'm close (I hope) to being in that position where my W is considering coming back, although I admit I can't say for sure. Point is, I have to avoid the temptation of having her back as soon as possible, as there would be no changes - and that would be disastrous. Might as well give her the time to continue to work through her issues and use that time to better myself. That way, should we decide to reconcile, it will be much easier with the majority of our demons behind us.

Deep breath. Since we didn't do it right the first time, we'd all better get it straight this time around, or there's no point it working so hard for it.

[~¤DG¤~]

I completely agree.
It is a good sign he doesn't want a D, but I know that if I don't stay true to myself and stick with the changes I am trying to make then it won't work.

There has been no talk about reconciliation, just talk about spending time together and seeing where it goes.
I am optimistic, but not confident.