I'm oddly calm about the court date itself, and feel rather secure with the outcome financially.
What is bothering me and keeping me up at nights is the returned anxiety/feelings toward by stbxh. Until now, I've been able to detach from the fact that I do still love the Bstrd. I've regrouped nicely, I think, and created a life from the apparent ashes that includes ALL my kids and grands.
Logic just seems to have flown out the window for me. I'm up at all hours of the night, unable to turn off the mind again. Much like it was at the beginning.
I don't know what the government shutdown will mean for H, but most likely, they will force him into retirement. None of which effects me. It may even work in my favor in that he may agree to just sign the house over to me for it's balance.
I've tried to remain a helpful voice on the Boards. Much easier to give advice than to take it, right? EZ to remain logical and intelligent when your emotions aren't wrapped up in it.
26 days and counting.
ME: 54 Him: 51 M: 20 years T: 21 years OW/New wife: 36 Sons & Daughters: 7 (ages 24-36) Bomb: March 4, 2010 He Filed: April 28, 2010 I Contested: May 1, 2010 Standing Down: 11/24/10 Divorced : 05/04/2011
