Sitting at home with myself, part 2

[Navyguy]

Thanks guys. I am printing out Harrier's post and putting it on my wall at work. I think I am doing ok, but it sure doesn't feel like it sometimes. My anxiety levels have been pretty high lately.

It's funny, a close friend told me basically the same thing Harrier said...he told me she's kidding herself if she is telling herself she just came back for the kids. She just needs time to realize that.

Last night went fairly well. When I got home from work W asked me about the upcoming mutual friends' wedding in New Orleans, and if I wanted to go. I asked her if she wanted me to go, and her response was "I know you're friends with the groom...I've really been looking forward to hanging out with my girlfriends there and I already told them I'd share a hotel room with them" (which we had previously discussed and I told her to go ahead and let her friends know that was ok), so the writing was pretty much on the wall. I told her that I will stay home with the kids. I don't want to be there anyways if it's going to create resentment. Its still a month away, but I don't think that 4 full days together 24/7 along with the stress of travelling is what we need right now.

I had a "guys night" at the driving range planned, so I went there after we talked about the wedding. Had a good time there. When I got home W and the kids were doing a puzzle in the basement, practicing teaching S2 the alphabet. It was really cute. D5 wanted to play some games so we all played Rock Band together. Then we put the kids to bed, and we were both tired so we went to bed too. W slept in D5's bed again last night. Seems that she's decided that sharing a bed with me is one of those "mixed signals" that she doesn't want to send.

Patience, patience, patience....