Just want to add my voice to the others as someone thinking of you, and supporting you. After the situation seeming fairly static for some time, it seems like your W is in a new situation now and exploring new possibilities. When I read your post the other day about how you'd confronted the situation, and W said she'd filed, it didn't seem to me like something bad necessarily. Perhaps partly because it looks like she is, perhaps for the first time, gaining the opportunity to try out some decisions for herself (and thereby take responsibility for herself too). That strikes me as something of the greatest importance both for her own future welfare, and for your relationship together. She's been too long under the shadow of inheritance and domineering parent figures.
I think you handled the situation brilliantly, by staying calm, and by allowing her to put the idea of divorce out there and experience it as an imaginative reality. My impression from reading your thread over a long period is that she wants above all for you to be stable, independent, and able to support her in all kinds of ways (emotionally, financially, physically, and so on). Is that how you see it too?
By not freaking out, you proved your stability once again, and you didn't try to displace her emotions with your emotions. Instead, you clearly and calmly stated how you feel about the situation, and allowed her to test out her own feelings.
I think there's an important moment that you describe when you said you thought the divorce wasn't what she wanted: she called that a slap in the face. In other words, she hates it when you tell her what she feels (which is what her family has always done). However, you saved that situation immediately by telling her that you respect her decision.
To put that another way, it seems significant that she repeats that her family had been telling her to D you. Yet she didn't file. Now that GFIL has passed away, she actually files (she says). Meaning? Perhaps it indicates that it's really important to her to be able to make her own decisions. She doesn't want either you or the family telling her what to think or feel, she wants to find that out for herself. By maintaining your presence of mind and respect for her decisions in these situations, you're allowing her to mature and flourish.
How interesting then that what follows this encounter is not the distancing or silence that one might anticipate following a filing announcement, but rather a string of nice little phone calls, texts, and future planning (e.g. AAA) which is specifically NOT about divorce. Moreover, she sits in bed with you, gives you a facial, and then sends you a link to the modernman website -- and doesn't point you to the dating aspects of that site (as in, move on), but points you to the parts about caring for you- health and grooming. And suddenly, after so much pain, the medicine starts to work, she feels really good.
Just thinking back to an earlier post about you buying a new laptop and her reacting so strongly: sounds like, again, her fear of you not being able to take care of yourself, not being responsible, not being in a position to look after her. But by being upbeat, stable, and caring for yourself in different ways, you take pressure off her (the fear that she might have to look after you in the same way she's had to look after other family members in the past), and you allow her to grow and find herself.
The situation seems simpler in a way now that her inheritance has been disclosed (i.e. that it's not large), and yet your feelings for her and your responses to her remain stable. I imagine that's really important for her too.
It's impossible to know what will happen next; perhaps she will send the papers through, maybe she won't, but what seems more important is the strength and stability you show through this time, as she comes to see you again not through the eyes of her GFIL or her family, but through her own eyes, which are, after all, the eyes through which she saw you when you first fell in love.
