Today was a hard day to get through. Haven't felt like this for some time now. The W called me yesterday on her way to get kids and wanted to know what ideas I had for how to handle this weekend when I have kids. I told her that I would bring them to my mom's house but wanted to watch them at the House during the day on Saturday/Sunday while W had a day to herself. She said that Sunday would be fine like that after we go to church but that she had plans Saturday night and needs a break from me for a bit.
We talked last Sunday about doing stuff together to try and ease my way back into the house and ended up spending 6 out of 7 days together either as a family or just each other. She said last night that even thou the time has been very positive she just feels like it was a lot at once and she needs some time. That hurt to hear. The time we have spent together have been amazing for me and hearing that knocked me down a few pegs.
Her plans on Saturday night is that she is going to a 80's dance with her whole family. I absolutely love 80's music and would give my right arm to be there with them but she made it very clear to me in her tone that I am not welcome.
By giving her the break it has put me in a funk that I am having difficulty getting out of today. I made a list of the positive/negative aspects to my sitch and the positives out numbered the negatives. That is good. I have kids tomorrow night and then Saturday night and then Sunday we pick up W for church and afterward she is helping out at church while I take kids back to the HOUSE and watch them there. Monday we have our first MC appointment.
